I am so excited for this new online birth magazine I just had to share it on my vbac blog! I actually wrote a post for it called my VBAC in photos and its my birth story just told in mostly photographs. Anyways I love it and thought I just had to share it because its a really good resource. Thanks all, you can see my post in the preview or if its bought online for only $3.60, but let me know your thoughts on my article in there! ~Jessica
http://www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/305820/follow
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Due date here and leaving
It's Taia, again. Today is my due date. I shared earlier how I got to the point of anticipating a home birth after 2 cesareans. The last 9 months have been roller coasters of ups and downs. I started off being very open about my plans... especially when I didn't know I was pregnant. Then after discovering that I was indeed pregnant and shared our plans with our closest friends of our home birth... the love and support was not returned. I shared with them my blog address where I poured out all the details of the previous births and my heart. Many were amazed at the story but still did not support me. They kept saying, "I respect it but would never risk it myself." The look on their faces said more than what their lips said. It was very discouraging. But this is coming from people who have never had a c/s themselves and also brag about all the interventions they enjoyed in the hospital. How can they relate. I continued with my blog and started posting it on a facebook vabc support group and sharing it only with people who seemed truly interested in what I was doing. I stopped sharing the blog with my friends and I honestly think they think I stopped writing it.
As for family, we took different approaches depending on what family we were talking about. I am a very open and honest person and have a hard time keeping anything from my parents. They knew of the birthing center near them that I had visited. My mom somehow took what I told her and interpreted it into: Mom, I found an Amish lady who will let me come to her house when I am in labor. That is NOT what I had said. I cleared up what the birthing center was all about and that professionals, not random Amish ladies ran it. Then let her know about our change of plans to a home birth at our home... with a PROFESSIONAL. She seemed open to it and has been respectful. However, I should back up to before we even knew I was pregnant.
My sister happened to be in the hospital having her second baby. She had planned a vbac and things did not go as planned. No point to getting into that story. But before my parents left her hospital, they pulled my sister's OB aside and told her about our plans for a vba2c at an Amish birthing center. This OB then went to my sister in tears and told her that she has to talk me out of it as it is totally not safe. In the mean time... I actually found out I was pregnant just a hour before my sister delivered. I couldn't tell anyone as I didn't want to take the focus off my sister and her new baby. But when all had been celebrated and I shared that we were pregnant, I got some big unexpected emotions from the ones I loved the most. I was mad that my parents went to a random OB to discuss me. This OB had no knowledge of my medical history besides the fact that I had 2 c/s and got them all upset. They were not interested in the experts I had. Their one seemed to trump mine. It took some time for them to get over that and I'm not sure they ever really did. My sister and I had a couple conversations about it weeks later. I told her to do more research and she said she knew she wouldn't but wanted to know that I heard her out. We really haven't discussed it since. My sister was so supportive with my first vbac and one of my best allies. But not this time. I miss her support and it saddens me. But I can't change what I can't control. I'm ignoring my Dad's thoughts as he doesn't listen well and has his own views that will never change. He just doesn't get it. Just this last week I began sharing specific details with him about c/s and the complications, etc. He said he had never heard of anyone NOT wanting a c/s... because they are painless. There is no point in wasting my energy on gaining his support. He knows I am going to do what I am going to do and lets it be. So, that is my family's story on these plans.
My neighbors have been curious as they knew I traveled an hour for each appointment and the delivery last time around. I let them know that we are staying local but having a vbac. I'm not sure what they think, either. They should know no local hospital will let me do a vbac let alone a vba2c.
So, there have been very few I have really been open and honest with. One was a new neighbor who seemed to know something was up as I was vague in my answers and then she shared that she has not immunized her 4 kids. I had a feeling she would understand. It is kind of funny, really. Her husband works for the local hospital but is fairly new to the area. She was asking about the reputation of the birthing center and I told her they have a bad reputation (true) but let her believe we were still birthing there. It seemed so odd to say a hospital was bad and we'll let you know what we experience later. Anyway... once I confessed to her our true plans, she shared that she is a 3 time vbac and once in a birth center. She has been so supportive. It is great to get those surprise support. I also have an educator coming to the house through a school program for children birth- age 3. I finally told her when she began asking questions and she was so supportive too. So, I have some people I can count on who truly and honestly wish me the best and will be lifting me up... well now I hope.
Besides those few, I keep in contact with my vbac support group. Really, there are only 4 of us. lol. It is sad we haven't grown more but you have to understand, the hospitals around us preach no vbac. Anyway, I am honest with them and rely on them to support me and lift me up when I am down.
Oh! Insurance. That was a big stressor. I shared in my last post that a co-worker of my husband had a home birth with the same midwife. So, we knew out insurance would cover her. We had to request that she be considered "in network" as no home birth midwives were listed. Our request was DENIED due solely to the fact that I had had 2 c/s. That was one of my lowest moments in the last 9 months. It was so stressful. Insurance said we were welcome to have a vabc in a hospital but not at home. But no hospital would let us have a vbac. We appealed to them and about a month later were denied again. We had to appeal 2 more times before we could go to our employer and ask him/it to over ride the insurance's denial. For our second appeal, we asked the midwife to write up a letter with her assessment. I insisted my husband let me read over the appeal before sending it off. I made him change his statements of 'The midwife's medical opinion" to "the midwife's medical assessment." She is a professional who they respected with a number of other people but did not respect her assessment for me. This second appeal was GRANTED. Thank the Lord! I was trying to hold onto the fact that God was in control and would clear this up. My friends pointed out that they thought God was telling us no. They didn't say much when the appeal was granted. God is faithful to those who are faithful to Him. So, that is the short version of our insurance struggles. I hope it is the end of it too.
The way things are billed as a home birth is a little different. We had to pay in full up front at 36 weeks to the midwife. It was $3500. I was to and did pay $100 with each visit until week 36 where we paid the remaining balance. Six weeks after this baby is born, we will get the paperwork to file with our insurance and then have to wait for them to process it and write us a reimbursement check. It hurts financially, now... but is good to know we will one day seem the majority of that money return. It is well worth it to have control of our birth. We have paid at least that out of pocket for each c/s so this way, if all goes well, we will be saving money, too. Not that it is our main reason to have a hba2c but one can be thankful for the savings. The $3500 also covers ALL prenatal visits excluding lab work such as blood tests, ultrasound etc. Not bad at all. To add to that, she has always come to me in my home. No bundling up the 2 yr old, driving an hour, waiting in the waiting room, waiting in the exam room, quick check by doc and then have to spend $ on lunch (b/c by then it was always time to eat) and drive back. It took all day. She comes to me. My child is at home, I can stay in my pj's if I want and she spends at least 1 hour with me really getting to know me. How many experience that as a prenatal visit?
Well, this post has taken forever. I'm not sure if it has interested anyone or if Jessica regrets asking me to post something. I hope it gives some insight. How can someone wrap up 9 months into a pretty bow? I suppose I will shortly as I deliver and dress my sweet little girl.
As for family, we took different approaches depending on what family we were talking about. I am a very open and honest person and have a hard time keeping anything from my parents. They knew of the birthing center near them that I had visited. My mom somehow took what I told her and interpreted it into: Mom, I found an Amish lady who will let me come to her house when I am in labor. That is NOT what I had said. I cleared up what the birthing center was all about and that professionals, not random Amish ladies ran it. Then let her know about our change of plans to a home birth at our home... with a PROFESSIONAL. She seemed open to it and has been respectful. However, I should back up to before we even knew I was pregnant.
My sister happened to be in the hospital having her second baby. She had planned a vbac and things did not go as planned. No point to getting into that story. But before my parents left her hospital, they pulled my sister's OB aside and told her about our plans for a vba2c at an Amish birthing center. This OB then went to my sister in tears and told her that she has to talk me out of it as it is totally not safe. In the mean time... I actually found out I was pregnant just a hour before my sister delivered. I couldn't tell anyone as I didn't want to take the focus off my sister and her new baby. But when all had been celebrated and I shared that we were pregnant, I got some big unexpected emotions from the ones I loved the most. I was mad that my parents went to a random OB to discuss me. This OB had no knowledge of my medical history besides the fact that I had 2 c/s and got them all upset. They were not interested in the experts I had. Their one seemed to trump mine. It took some time for them to get over that and I'm not sure they ever really did. My sister and I had a couple conversations about it weeks later. I told her to do more research and she said she knew she wouldn't but wanted to know that I heard her out. We really haven't discussed it since. My sister was so supportive with my first vbac and one of my best allies. But not this time. I miss her support and it saddens me. But I can't change what I can't control. I'm ignoring my Dad's thoughts as he doesn't listen well and has his own views that will never change. He just doesn't get it. Just this last week I began sharing specific details with him about c/s and the complications, etc. He said he had never heard of anyone NOT wanting a c/s... because they are painless. There is no point in wasting my energy on gaining his support. He knows I am going to do what I am going to do and lets it be. So, that is my family's story on these plans.
My neighbors have been curious as they knew I traveled an hour for each appointment and the delivery last time around. I let them know that we are staying local but having a vbac. I'm not sure what they think, either. They should know no local hospital will let me do a vbac let alone a vba2c.
So, there have been very few I have really been open and honest with. One was a new neighbor who seemed to know something was up as I was vague in my answers and then she shared that she has not immunized her 4 kids. I had a feeling she would understand. It is kind of funny, really. Her husband works for the local hospital but is fairly new to the area. She was asking about the reputation of the birthing center and I told her they have a bad reputation (true) but let her believe we were still birthing there. It seemed so odd to say a hospital was bad and we'll let you know what we experience later. Anyway... once I confessed to her our true plans, she shared that she is a 3 time vbac and once in a birth center. She has been so supportive. It is great to get those surprise support. I also have an educator coming to the house through a school program for children birth- age 3. I finally told her when she began asking questions and she was so supportive too. So, I have some people I can count on who truly and honestly wish me the best and will be lifting me up... well now I hope.
Besides those few, I keep in contact with my vbac support group. Really, there are only 4 of us. lol. It is sad we haven't grown more but you have to understand, the hospitals around us preach no vbac. Anyway, I am honest with them and rely on them to support me and lift me up when I am down.
Oh! Insurance. That was a big stressor. I shared in my last post that a co-worker of my husband had a home birth with the same midwife. So, we knew out insurance would cover her. We had to request that she be considered "in network" as no home birth midwives were listed. Our request was DENIED due solely to the fact that I had had 2 c/s. That was one of my lowest moments in the last 9 months. It was so stressful. Insurance said we were welcome to have a vabc in a hospital but not at home. But no hospital would let us have a vbac. We appealed to them and about a month later were denied again. We had to appeal 2 more times before we could go to our employer and ask him/it to over ride the insurance's denial. For our second appeal, we asked the midwife to write up a letter with her assessment. I insisted my husband let me read over the appeal before sending it off. I made him change his statements of 'The midwife's medical opinion" to "the midwife's medical assessment." She is a professional who they respected with a number of other people but did not respect her assessment for me. This second appeal was GRANTED. Thank the Lord! I was trying to hold onto the fact that God was in control and would clear this up. My friends pointed out that they thought God was telling us no. They didn't say much when the appeal was granted. God is faithful to those who are faithful to Him. So, that is the short version of our insurance struggles. I hope it is the end of it too.
The way things are billed as a home birth is a little different. We had to pay in full up front at 36 weeks to the midwife. It was $3500. I was to and did pay $100 with each visit until week 36 where we paid the remaining balance. Six weeks after this baby is born, we will get the paperwork to file with our insurance and then have to wait for them to process it and write us a reimbursement check. It hurts financially, now... but is good to know we will one day seem the majority of that money return. It is well worth it to have control of our birth. We have paid at least that out of pocket for each c/s so this way, if all goes well, we will be saving money, too. Not that it is our main reason to have a hba2c but one can be thankful for the savings. The $3500 also covers ALL prenatal visits excluding lab work such as blood tests, ultrasound etc. Not bad at all. To add to that, she has always come to me in my home. No bundling up the 2 yr old, driving an hour, waiting in the waiting room, waiting in the exam room, quick check by doc and then have to spend $ on lunch (b/c by then it was always time to eat) and drive back. It took all day. She comes to me. My child is at home, I can stay in my pj's if I want and she spends at least 1 hour with me really getting to know me. How many experience that as a prenatal visit?
Well, this post has taken forever. I'm not sure if it has interested anyone or if Jessica regrets asking me to post something. I hope it gives some insight. How can someone wrap up 9 months into a pretty bow? I suppose I will shortly as I deliver and dress my sweet little girl.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
New guest bloggers and contributors!
I am very excited to start changing things up with this blog. I believe the best way to do that is to have other women write their thoughts/hopes/dreams/journeys down for others to read and get inspired from. I want to encourage anyone with a heart to share their thoughts on VBAC to send me an email. I am opening my blog up to some other writers here in the next few weeks so everyone be respectful and enjoy! And remember that every woman is entitled to her thoughts and her beliefs and we should respect each one in the place that they are in. Thanks, Jessica Pace
Meet Guest Blogger Taia! On her journey towards a VBA2C
Hi. Let me introduce myself. My name is Taia and very close to having a vba2c (vaginal birth after two cesareans). Actually my due date is hours away- tomorrow! For this vba2c I will be doing home birth which is completely new to me.
I never thought we would ever consider a home birth and honestly, thought most who were planning one were crazy. I am a Christian and feel that God has lead us down this path for a reason. We would not be here if it weren't for the fact that He is in control.
My first birth as a c/s prematurely due to severe pre-eclampsia. I was at 36 week and really had no real care if the birth was natural or by c/s. (I was a c/s birth myself and was raised that it is no big deal.) I quickly discovered after the birth that I had strong feelings about birth and I was not ok with the experience I had. I won't go into it here as it is not the focus. I am sure about anyone reading this has had some negative birth experience, each unique, but each cutting deep into the sole. I did go a full year dealing with my feelings and emotions poorly before a wonderful couple ladies started up a vbac support group locally. I went to the first one and have been a faithful member for the past nearly 6 years. It was only through those meetings that I was able to begin healing.
My second birth was to be a hospital vbac. I had wonderful support from my midwife and had hired the most respected doula in my area. I had not experienced any type of labor before and was a little nervous about if I could handle it. My doula has this theory that God only gives us what we can handle. Therefore, if you can't handle pain well, the labor will start slowly and may take a couple days to really kick in. If you can handle a lot, the labor my kick in full force. We assumed it would take me a while... we were wrong. The hospital was located an hour away which was the closest who would support a vbac. The plan was to get a hotel room close to the hospital when labor began. That way we could labor at my pace but not worry about the hour trip. As soon as labor kicked in, I quickly cancelled those plans. Things were progressing fast and we left for the hospital within 2-3 hours if the first contraction. I was handling things fine. I was calm and pleased to be experiencing things I never got to with the first birth. I'm not intending to share the whole story here, so I will fast forward. I ended up with a c/s because the doctor on call (who I had never seen before) took the first chance he could get to section me. He refused an epidural which all his colleagues said after the fact was my right. Instead he insisted on a c/s. The official reason was "failure to progress." My personal opinion as well as many others say, "failure of doctor support." It was difficult to go through again. There were parts with the second c/s that were better. But one of the hardest parts was having to tell people we had a c/s and them not understanding it wasn't because it was unsafe but because the doctor was a jerk.
About 18 months later, we discussed having our third and final child. My husband was wanting me to get pregnant asap so we can get out of the baby stage and move onto other childhood stages he enjoys more. To date, my oldest is 2 months from being 7 years old and much more enjoyable for my husband than the younger one. Anyway, I was not comfortable getting pregnant without knowing first that we had a provider who would support a vba2c. My last provider who cheated me out of my vbac made it very clear that they will not support a vba2c. Nice. That midwife reluctantly gave me the name of an Amish community birthing center who may be "crazy enough to attempt a vba2c." That was a little scary but I didn't have many choices. It was an hour and half drive from my house but only a half hour drive from my parents' house. So, I made an appointment to see the center and talk with them. The ladies were so supportive. The center was small and simple. It reminded me a lot of a nursing home without a huge dining room. They do home births as well but would not travel as far as I live. Understandable. Next all I had to do was get pregnant. Little did I know... I already was!
As the realization that the pregnancy has already begun, we began talking more seriously about our options. I was telling my husband how little there was in the center and that is basically the same as a home birth, just in a different less comfortable (to me) environment. As I said this, I realized there was no difference between the birthing center and a home birth. We both kind of had the Ah-Ha moment at the same time. We had heard from several over the months that there is one home birth midwife in a town just 5 minutes from my house. We decided to make an appointment with her. Ironically... or God's timing... it depends on how you feel about that- but I noticed an acquaintance I knew on facebook had her baby THAT weekend. As I looked at the photos, it was pretty clear this was a home birth. I had no idea! As I told my husband about this discovery, he said the name sounded familiar and thought he may have just met the husband at work just a couple weeks ago. Turns out, he DID know the husband and was shocked, "HE did a home birth?" It didn't seem so crazy after that. Did I mention the baby was over 10 pounds?
That is the short version of the path God took us to a home birth after 2 c/s. We love our midwife. She is extremely knowledgeable, supportive, and kind. She is looking out for me and will not risk my or the baby's health just to have a home birth. We also rehired out doula from the last birth. Both doula and midwife are on call, waiting to hear things are progressing with us. We are feeling the same.
I will write more later about my feelings as I approach my due date and things I have done to get me this far without much fear.
I would love prayers for a safe and healing birth if you are a faithful follower of Jesus. Thanks!
I never thought we would ever consider a home birth and honestly, thought most who were planning one were crazy. I am a Christian and feel that God has lead us down this path for a reason. We would not be here if it weren't for the fact that He is in control.
My first birth as a c/s prematurely due to severe pre-eclampsia. I was at 36 week and really had no real care if the birth was natural or by c/s. (I was a c/s birth myself and was raised that it is no big deal.) I quickly discovered after the birth that I had strong feelings about birth and I was not ok with the experience I had. I won't go into it here as it is not the focus. I am sure about anyone reading this has had some negative birth experience, each unique, but each cutting deep into the sole. I did go a full year dealing with my feelings and emotions poorly before a wonderful couple ladies started up a vbac support group locally. I went to the first one and have been a faithful member for the past nearly 6 years. It was only through those meetings that I was able to begin healing.
My second birth was to be a hospital vbac. I had wonderful support from my midwife and had hired the most respected doula in my area. I had not experienced any type of labor before and was a little nervous about if I could handle it. My doula has this theory that God only gives us what we can handle. Therefore, if you can't handle pain well, the labor will start slowly and may take a couple days to really kick in. If you can handle a lot, the labor my kick in full force. We assumed it would take me a while... we were wrong. The hospital was located an hour away which was the closest who would support a vbac. The plan was to get a hotel room close to the hospital when labor began. That way we could labor at my pace but not worry about the hour trip. As soon as labor kicked in, I quickly cancelled those plans. Things were progressing fast and we left for the hospital within 2-3 hours if the first contraction. I was handling things fine. I was calm and pleased to be experiencing things I never got to with the first birth. I'm not intending to share the whole story here, so I will fast forward. I ended up with a c/s because the doctor on call (who I had never seen before) took the first chance he could get to section me. He refused an epidural which all his colleagues said after the fact was my right. Instead he insisted on a c/s. The official reason was "failure to progress." My personal opinion as well as many others say, "failure of doctor support." It was difficult to go through again. There were parts with the second c/s that were better. But one of the hardest parts was having to tell people we had a c/s and them not understanding it wasn't because it was unsafe but because the doctor was a jerk.
About 18 months later, we discussed having our third and final child. My husband was wanting me to get pregnant asap so we can get out of the baby stage and move onto other childhood stages he enjoys more. To date, my oldest is 2 months from being 7 years old and much more enjoyable for my husband than the younger one. Anyway, I was not comfortable getting pregnant without knowing first that we had a provider who would support a vba2c. My last provider who cheated me out of my vbac made it very clear that they will not support a vba2c. Nice. That midwife reluctantly gave me the name of an Amish community birthing center who may be "crazy enough to attempt a vba2c." That was a little scary but I didn't have many choices. It was an hour and half drive from my house but only a half hour drive from my parents' house. So, I made an appointment to see the center and talk with them. The ladies were so supportive. The center was small and simple. It reminded me a lot of a nursing home without a huge dining room. They do home births as well but would not travel as far as I live. Understandable. Next all I had to do was get pregnant. Little did I know... I already was!
As the realization that the pregnancy has already begun, we began talking more seriously about our options. I was telling my husband how little there was in the center and that is basically the same as a home birth, just in a different less comfortable (to me) environment. As I said this, I realized there was no difference between the birthing center and a home birth. We both kind of had the Ah-Ha moment at the same time. We had heard from several over the months that there is one home birth midwife in a town just 5 minutes from my house. We decided to make an appointment with her. Ironically... or God's timing... it depends on how you feel about that- but I noticed an acquaintance I knew on facebook had her baby THAT weekend. As I looked at the photos, it was pretty clear this was a home birth. I had no idea! As I told my husband about this discovery, he said the name sounded familiar and thought he may have just met the husband at work just a couple weeks ago. Turns out, he DID know the husband and was shocked, "HE did a home birth?" It didn't seem so crazy after that. Did I mention the baby was over 10 pounds?
That is the short version of the path God took us to a home birth after 2 c/s. We love our midwife. She is extremely knowledgeable, supportive, and kind. She is looking out for me and will not risk my or the baby's health just to have a home birth. We also rehired out doula from the last birth. Both doula and midwife are on call, waiting to hear things are progressing with us. We are feeling the same.
I will write more later about my feelings as I approach my due date and things I have done to get me this far without much fear.
I would love prayers for a safe and healing birth if you are a faithful follower of Jesus. Thanks!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Trying to keep this going
I am so incredibly passionate about VBAC that I seriously want to keep this blog going. I havent blogged on here for a little while now and here are some reasons why:
- I just recently finished my DONA birth doula training in Asheville, NC and have been consumed with everything involved with that-trying to get a business page, business cards, meeting and emailing potential clients, and putting together a VAST, VAST resource list that I seriously work on every night for hours!
- I just moved into a new place with my husband in a new city
- I am home with two crazy boys and they do not wanna let me blog
- I want to post some great things but feel a little like no one reads this blog, so why put in the time....
Monday, October 10, 2011
VBAC story re-post
http://chicomidwife.blogspot.com/2011/10/ob-and-i-work-together-tracy-has-vbac.html#more
This story was so beautiful I had to respost it on my blog when I read it. Oh, it just makes you feel so happy reading about this midwife and OB collaborating to give this woman her VBAC despite all the odds being against her. Coolness.
This story was so beautiful I had to respost it on my blog when I read it. Oh, it just makes you feel so happy reading about this midwife and OB collaborating to give this woman her VBAC despite all the odds being against her. Coolness.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
VBAC video: Homebirth, 2 VBAC
Natural waterbirth at home, my second VBAC
Such a beautifully done video. Gorgeous birth and such lovely family
presence. Caught myself smiling ear to ear while watching this. Just
love love love all about this super inspirational VBAC birth! Watch and
feel connected, at peace, and inspired to have your very own VBAC.
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