Meet Guest Blogger Taia! On her journey towards a VBA2C

Hi.  Let me introduce myself.  My name is Taia and very close to having a vba2c (vaginal birth after two cesareans).  Actually my due date is hours away- tomorrow!  For this vba2c I will be doing home birth which is completely new to me.

I never thought we would ever consider a home birth and honestly, thought most who were planning one were crazy.  I am a Christian and feel that God has lead us down this path for a reason.  We would not be here if it weren't for the fact that He is in control.

My first birth as a c/s prematurely due to severe pre-eclampsia.  I was at 36 week and really had no real care if the birth was natural or by c/s.  (I was a c/s birth myself and was raised that it is no big deal.)  I quickly discovered after the birth that I had strong feelings about birth and I was not ok with the experience I had.  I won't go into it here as it is not the focus.  I am sure about anyone reading this has had some negative birth experience, each unique, but each cutting deep into the sole.  I did go a full year dealing with my feelings and emotions poorly before a wonderful couple ladies started up a vbac support group locally.  I went to the first one and have been a faithful member for the past nearly 6 years.  It was only through those meetings that I was able to begin healing.

My second birth was to be a hospital vbac.  I had wonderful support from my midwife and had hired the most respected doula in my area.  I had not experienced any type of labor before and was a little nervous about if I could handle it.  My doula has this theory that God only gives us what we can handle.  Therefore, if you can't handle pain well, the labor will start slowly and may take a couple days to really kick in.  If you can handle a lot, the labor my kick in full force.  We assumed it would take me a while... we were wrong.  The hospital was located an hour away which was the closest who would support a vbac.  The plan was to get a hotel room close to the hospital when labor began.  That way we could labor at my pace but not worry about the hour trip.  As soon as labor kicked in, I quickly cancelled those plans.  Things were progressing fast and we left for the hospital within 2-3 hours if the first contraction.  I was handling things fine.  I was calm and pleased to be experiencing things I never got to with the first birth.  I'm not intending to share the whole story here, so I will fast forward.  I ended up with a c/s because the doctor on call (who I had never seen before) took the first chance he could get to section me.  He refused an epidural which all his colleagues said after the fact was my right.  Instead he insisted on a c/s.  The official reason was "failure to progress."  My personal opinion as well as many others say, "failure of doctor support."  It was difficult to go through again.  There were parts with the second c/s that were better.  But one of the hardest parts was having to tell people we had a c/s and them not understanding it wasn't because it was unsafe but because the doctor was a jerk.

About 18 months later, we discussed having our third and final child.  My husband was wanting me to get pregnant asap so we can get out of the baby stage and move onto other childhood stages he enjoys more.  To date, my oldest is 2 months from being 7 years old and much more enjoyable for my husband than the younger one.  Anyway, I was not comfortable getting pregnant without knowing first that we had a provider who would support a vba2c.  My last provider who cheated me out of my vbac made it very clear that they will not support a vba2c.  Nice.  That midwife reluctantly gave me the name of an Amish community birthing center who may be "crazy enough to attempt a vba2c."  That was a little scary but I didn't have many choices.  It was an hour and half drive from my house but only a half hour drive from my parents' house.  So, I made an appointment to see the center and talk with them.  The ladies were so supportive.  The center was small and simple.  It reminded me a lot of a nursing home without a huge dining room.  They do home births as well but would not travel as far as I live.  Understandable.  Next all I had to do was get pregnant.  Little did I know... I already was!

As the realization that the pregnancy has already begun, we began talking more seriously about our options.  I was telling my husband how little there was in the center and that is basically the same as a home birth, just in a different less comfortable (to me) environment.  As I said this, I realized there was no difference between the birthing center and a home birth.  We both kind of had the Ah-Ha moment at the same time.  We had heard from several over the months that there is one home birth midwife in a town just 5 minutes from my house.  We decided to make an appointment with her.  Ironically... or God's timing... it depends on how you feel about that- but I noticed an acquaintance I knew on facebook had her baby THAT weekend.  As I looked at the photos, it was pretty clear this was a home birth.  I had no idea!  As I told my husband about this discovery, he said the name sounded familiar and thought he may have just met the husband at work just a couple weeks ago.  Turns out, he DID know the husband and was shocked, "HE did a home birth?"  It didn't seem so crazy after that.  Did I mention the baby was over 10 pounds?

That is the short version of the path God took us to a home birth after 2 c/s.  We love our midwife.  She is extremely knowledgeable, supportive, and kind.  She is looking out for me and will not risk my or the baby's health just to have a home birth.  We also rehired out doula from the last birth.  Both doula and midwife are on call, waiting to hear things are progressing with us.  We are feeling the same.

I will write more later about my feelings as I approach my due date and things I have done to get me this far without much fear.

I would love prayers for a safe and healing birth if you are a faithful follower of Jesus.  Thanks!

VBAC video: Homebirth, 2 VBAC

Natural waterbirth at home, my second VBAC 

 

Such a beautifully done video. Gorgeous birth and such lovely family presence. Caught myself smiling ear to ear while watching this. Just love love love all about this super inspirational VBAC birth! Watch and feel connected, at peace, and inspired to have your very own VBAC. 

Homebirth VBAC warrior woman- Tiffany

I would love to introduce our first VBAC goddess/warrior/outright awesome birthing mama Tiffany! Read her amazing transformation from her first birth having an elective c-section to choosing to vbac at home with her second. I just love her story!

In October of 2005 my oldest daughter Sophie was born. The birth was exactly the way I wanted- a C-section. I was afraid of birth. My pregnancy was miserable- sick for almost 8 straight months all day long- I had to quit my job because I spent the majority of my shifts in the bathroom sick rather than the classroom. I was afraid of allowing my tailbone to break again during a vaginal birth- the way it had during the pregnancy after a horrible fall. I was given prescriptions to help ease my sickness, but none of them worked- and I heard several times “this is just part of the pregnancy all women get sick” My OBGYN loudly supported my fear that the bone would break, that the way it healed might not even allow the baby to be born vaginally- and the much easier and less painful would be to have a scheduled C-section. I fear pain- I feared childbirth, and I didn’t hesitate to schedule my baby’s delivery by caesarean section.

I went in on a Friday, 2 weeks before my due date, with complaints of my back and my doctor said I was at the beginning stages of labor and we should do the C-section now rather than coming back in later in the night when labor really took hold. I hadn’t experienced any contractions- but the Doctor knew what labor was so I trusted her. I called my husband and told him to leave work- that it was time. Quickly my family and friends filled my room as we waited for 3 30p.m. When it was finally time I was wheeled into the operating room and my husband waited outside until the epidural was in. On the 8th try my OB finally left the room to get another anesthesiologist to put in my epidural. I was told that there are two shots with an epidural. The first one is like a bee sting to numb the area where the medicine will go in. The second one I won’t feel at all. I find that to be a lie. I felt all 8 bee stings, and felt 8 attempts at getting the medication in. The anesthesiologist said my back was "unusual- probably because of my tailbone"- but when her college came in she got it on the first try (but to my body it was attempt 9). I instantly lost feeling from my chest down and that scared me. I heard a nurse say that my water broke, but I felt nothing and I couldn’t you if it broke naturally or if someone was examining me and they broke it. My husband finally came in and the c section lasted only 15 minutes. My daughter was born; I heard her cry and we cried. The doctors then told me it was a good thing I had done the C-section because she was stuck my pelvic bone with a very short cord and there would have been no way she would have delivered vaginally. To this day I believe that the cord was shorter than normal, but I don’t know if I believe in my heart that she wouldn’t have been born vaginally. It took almost 20 minutes for them to allow my husband to pick her up, to bring her to me. Her face was badly bruised and the doctors said it was because being stuck inside me, that many babies come out bruised but not to worry- the bruises would disappear in a few days. The brusies took almost 2 weeks to heal.

My recovery wasn’t bad-wasnt fun but wasnt bad either. Within two weeks I was back at church, going shopping, and really thankful that I wasn’t trying to recover from a broken tailbone- but on the inside something was really bothering me about the entire event. I knew I wanted more children- but to be that sick again for 9 long months and while taking care of a child. My doctors had said that if I wanted to try a VBAC with my next pregnancy it would fine- if I was willing to take responsibilities for the risks of uterine tears and the short cord will more than likely follow me with my next pregnancy so I had to understand I would more than likely end up with a C-section after hours of failing to push with results. The seeds of doubt they planted from the very start is so obvious to me now.

In 2008 we were due with our second child. My husband was so excited- I was scared. Sick again with no relief and at my very first appt we were told we might be allowed to do a VBAC but a C-section was much more likely because the risks of a VBAC were too great. I left the office knowing that I had to do something different this time- that I truly wanted something different. Not all women were this miserable; somewhere someone had to have a better way.

Several weeks later I went to a banquet and a friend of the family was giving me her congratulations on my pregnancy when I commented about how miserable I was. She said then that she had several babies and it wasn’t something to be miserable over- she started talking about her midwife and how beautiful her births were. Something inside me stirred. She introduced me to her midwife who gave me several tips about my “morning sickness”- she knew right away how dehydrated I was, that the medicine was upsetting my stomach more than helping, and offered some tricks of the trade. I kept thinking- how can something as simple as peppermint oil help me when prescriptions weren’t doing anything. But the peppermint oil worked and it worked so well that I began to look into midwives, homebirth, vbacs, and my options.

I didn’t know anyone who had a homebirth beside the friend who introduced me to her midwife. I sent a few emails asking her questions, I started reading anything I could get my hands on, and before I knew it I was in her living room asking her to take me on as a patient for a vbac home birth. The rest of my pregnancy was completely different then my first. The midwife helped me find a prenatal vitamin that didn’t upset my stomach, she helped me understand what my diet was lacking and point out better ways to cook healthier food. She asked questions that made us take responsibility for our birth and baby rather than just giving it over to someone else. We made up our own minds about vaccinations based on facts rather than assuming everyone had to be vaccinated, we knew we didn’t need a vit k shot after the baby was born, we knew we wanted to birth the baby in water and so much more. She gave us the tools and the confidence to trust birth and my body.

By the time my due date rolled around I felt like a brand new woman- confident, powerful and ready to deliver my baby. I had told the midwife that I needed laughter, that I wanted to eat and drink during labor, have my friends there to witness our baby’s birth. She agreed to everything and followed through with it during labor. The day after my due date was Mother’s Day and we were on our way to church for a pancake breakfast. My hormones were raging and I was crying because I thought the baby would have been here by now. Just another thing that this pregnancy taught me- babies come when babies are ready not when everyone else is. After church my parents had us over for lunch and I noticed some bloody show. I called the midwife and she said that it may be time- to relax and if contractions picked up to give her another call.

We went home and in my heart I knew it was time. We watched several episodes of my favorite tv show and I napped on the couch. When I awoke it was to an intense contraction. I smiled and told my husband it was time to start making some calls and get the birthing pool blown up. My mom and friends were on their way and by the time the midwife arrived I was ready to be in the water. The water was calling me. After I got in the birthing pool I was able to breathe through each contraction, there was laughter in-between, Disney lullabies playing in the background and my friends all there cheering me on. For almost everyone this was the first birth they witnessed, even the moms there hadn’t been a part of a birth unless it was their own.
After an hour or so in the water the midwife checked me and I was at 9 and almost ready to start pushing. I was amazed- I thought it would take endless hours and the contractions up to that point were totally doable- nothing so painful the way I had seen on TV or the way the doctors had explained. I don’t do pain- and that was not pain. I truly believe that fear made the contractions painful and I didn’t have any fears during my labor to that point.

But then I had a deep contraction and I threw up. I have to say I hate throwing up and it scared me- why all of a sudden was I puking? I smelled it; I wanted out and away from it- and that one moment made me loose track and become fearful. The midwife did her best to get me calmed back down. I knew I should expect the unexpected but throwing up was not part of my plan- and I did not want to do that again. She made me get up out of the pool, and I went into my bathroom standing next to my vanity- contractions standing up were intense. I didn’t like it at all. I wasn’t ready to get back in the water and they weren’t finished cleaning it so I laid down in my bed and began to cry.

The midwife asked everyone to leave the room- to give me a moment with my husband to try and get things back in control. She checked me and I went from 9 centimeters to 5. It’s amazing how the body become fearful and labor stalls. I began to let the fear overwhelm me- my friends weren’t there, I puked, it was so painful- something was wrong. Really wrong- maybe I couldn’t do it and maybe I should just stop and go to the hospital. The midwife walked out in the hallway to give me and Ryan a few minutes together and I begged him to tell me what was wrong. And he looked into my eyes and said, "Just stop Tif- you know what to do, you knew transition was going to be crazy, and you know how you get when you throw up. Now is the time to stop freaking out and have this baby.”

The midwife came in a few moments later with a glove of ice. Her assistant was massaging my lower back and explaining what the midwife was going to do with the ice. Because I closed back up and the feeling to push was so overwhelming The midiwfe used her experience to help soften my cervix. She used the glove with ice to help “melt” away the cervix and after only a few moments I was ready to push. I didn’t get back in the water- which I regret now. But at the time I was lost in my words and just ready to meet my baby. I started on my hands and knees, then leaned into my husband for a few pushes, rolled over on my back and began to really push.

There wasn’t anyone who was yelling at me to push- no one was telling me what to do – only encouraging me that I was doing it. To keep listening to my body, to each contraction. The room was full again with my friends, my mom was on my side confidently telling me that everything was all right, and my husband was on the other side silently holding my hand breathing through each contraction and kissing my forehead each time. The midwife helped me to avoid tearing by guiding me to slow controlled pushes, deep massages, and helping me open my eyes and see that the baby’s head was out and ready for me to give one last push. Pulling my baby onto my stomach the room filled with laughter, tears, and joy. I have never felt so powerful, loved, or happy in my life. I was truly exhausted but energetic. My husband exclaimed it was a girl and my heart leapt with joy. My little Lola was here. Born in the early morning May 12 at 1:37 am weighing 7lbs 6 oz and 20 and ¾ inches long.

Lola’s cord was shorter than normal- and there was a slight tugging sensation when I had Lola at my chest. We planned on delaying cord cutting until it stopped pulsating- giving Lola her entire blood supply, avoiding risks of jaundice, and helping me delivery the placenta easier. After almost 10 minutes I asked for the cord to be cut because I wanted to lift up my baby and the length of the cord wouldn’t allow me to. We clamped and Ryan cut the cord, and shortly after, I delivered her “Tree of Life”. The midwife showed us the placenta and explained its value.

Everyone cleared the room after a few moments, giving Ryan and I private time with our new daughter. For the first hour our daughter was only in our hands, only skin to skin with her mother, bonding and loving each moment. Later the midwife measured Lola and did a quick examine to make sure I was fine. We brought in our oldest daughter Sophie to meet her little sister and it was the most wonderful moment- to be in our home, with our daughters, with my body intact, with a new strength. Sophie fell back to sleep and the midwife came in to say her goodbyes. Two hours after my baby was born- we were all asleep in bed together.

Lola’s birth was the hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever done. It was walking away from the “norm”- to leave the hospital and their machines, to trust my body, to trust my midwife. To get back on track after I was sick during labor. To let go of my fear and give my control back to my body and let it happen. My birth team was such a big help- to have women there with their comfort and support was better then any kind of drugs. I know that they will share my daughter’s birth with others and let the word spread that yes you can birth your baby without drugs, without machines, even after a C-section- and that everything will and can come out wonderfully. My midwife and her assistant - were angles. They did not give up on me, they didn’t doubt my body, and gave me my confidence, they kept me and my baby safe during our journey. They make so little money and do so much compared to my doctors.


I have had both ways- medicated “pain free” C-section and natural homebirth. And if we are ever blessed to birth another baby- we will be at home. We will be in the care of midwife and I will know that without a doubt that I’m in the best place for my birth and my baby.