My VBAC article in MotherWit Magazine

I am so excited for this new online birth magazine I just had to share it on my vbac blog! I actually wrote a post for it called my VBAC in photos and its my birth story just told in mostly photographs. Anyways I love it and thought I just had to share it because its a really good resource. Thanks all, you can see my post in the preview or if its bought online for only $3.60, but let me know your thoughts on my article in there! ~Jessica 

http://www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/305820/follow

Due date here and leaving

It's Taia, again.  Today is my due date.  I shared earlier how I got to the point of anticipating a home birth after 2 cesareans.  The last 9 months have been roller coasters of ups and downs.  I started off being very open about my plans... especially when I didn't know I was pregnant.  Then after discovering that I was indeed pregnant and shared our plans with our closest friends of our home birth... the love and support was not returned.  I shared with them my blog address where I poured out all the details of the previous births and my heart.  Many were amazed at the story but still did not support me.  They kept saying, "I respect it but would never risk it myself."  The look on their faces said more than what their lips said.  It was very discouraging.  But this is coming from people who have never had a c/s themselves and also brag about all the interventions they enjoyed in the hospital.  How can they relate.  I continued with my blog and started posting it on a facebook vabc support group and sharing it only with people who seemed truly interested in what I was doing.  I stopped sharing the blog with my friends and I honestly think they think I stopped writing it.

As for family, we took different approaches depending on what family we were talking about.  I am a very open and honest person and have a hard time keeping anything from my parents.  They knew of the birthing center near them that I had visited.  My mom somehow took what I told her and interpreted it into: Mom, I found an Amish lady who will let me come to her house when I am in labor.  That is NOT what I had said.  I cleared up what the birthing center was all about and that professionals, not random Amish ladies ran it.  Then let her know about our change of plans to a home birth at our home... with a PROFESSIONAL.  She seemed open to it and has been respectful.  However, I should back up to before we even knew I was pregnant.

My sister happened to be in the hospital having her second baby.  She had planned a vbac and things did not go as planned.  No point to getting into that story.  But before my parents left her hospital, they pulled my sister's OB aside and told her about our plans for a vba2c at an Amish birthing center.  This OB then went to my sister in tears and told her that she has to talk me out of it as it is totally not safe.  In the mean time... I actually found out I was pregnant just a hour before my sister delivered.  I couldn't tell anyone as I didn't want to take the focus off my sister and her new baby.  But when all had been celebrated and I shared that we were pregnant, I got some big unexpected emotions from the ones I loved the most.  I was mad that my parents went to a random OB to discuss me.  This OB had no knowledge of my medical history besides the fact that I had 2 c/s and got them all upset.  They were not interested in the experts I had.  Their one seemed to trump mine.  It took some time for them to get over that and I'm not sure they ever really did.  My sister and I had a couple conversations about it weeks later.  I told her to do more research and she said she knew she wouldn't but wanted to know that I heard her out.  We really haven't discussed it since.  My sister was so supportive with my first vbac and one of my best allies.  But not this time.  I miss her support and it saddens me.  But I can't change what I can't control.  I'm ignoring my Dad's thoughts as he doesn't listen well and has his own views that will never change.  He just doesn't get it.  Just this last week I began sharing specific details with him about c/s and the complications, etc.  He said he had never heard of anyone NOT wanting a c/s... because they are painless.  There is no point in wasting my energy on gaining his support.  He knows I am going to do what I am going to do and lets it be.  So, that is my family's story on these plans.



My neighbors have been curious as they knew I traveled an hour for each appointment and the delivery last time around.  I let them know that we are staying local but having a vbac.  I'm not sure what they think, either.  They should know no local hospital will let me do a vbac let alone a vba2c.

So, there have been very few I have really been open and honest with.  One was a new neighbor who seemed to know something was up as I was vague in my answers and then she shared that she has not immunized her 4 kids.  I had a feeling she would understand.  It is kind of funny, really.  Her husband works for the local hospital but is fairly new to the area.  She was asking about the reputation of the birthing center and I told her they have a bad reputation (true) but let her believe we were still birthing there.  It seemed so odd to say a hospital was bad and we'll let you know what we experience later.  Anyway... once I confessed to her our true plans, she shared that she is a 3 time vbac and once in a birth center.  She has been so supportive.  It is great to get those surprise support.  I also have an educator coming to the house through a school program for children birth- age 3.  I finally told her when she began asking questions and she was so supportive too.  So, I have some people I can count on who truly and honestly wish me the best and will be lifting me up... well now I hope.

Besides those few, I keep in contact with my vbac support group.  Really, there are only 4 of us.  lol.  It is sad we haven't grown more but you have to understand, the hospitals around us preach no vbac.  Anyway, I am honest with them and rely on them to support me and lift me up when I am down.

Oh!  Insurance.  That was a big stressor.  I shared in my last post that a co-worker of my husband had a home birth with the same midwife.  So, we knew out insurance would cover her.  We had to request that she be considered "in network" as no home birth midwives were listed.  Our request was DENIED due solely to the fact that I had had 2 c/s.  That was one of my lowest moments in the last 9 months.  It was so stressful.  Insurance said we were welcome to have a vabc in a hospital but not at home.  But no hospital would let us have a vbac.  We appealed to them and about a month later were denied again.  We had to appeal 2 more times before we could go to our employer and ask him/it to over ride the insurance's denial.  For our second appeal, we asked the midwife to write up a letter with her assessment.  I insisted my husband let me read over the appeal before sending it off.  I made him change his statements of 'The midwife's medical opinion" to "the midwife's medical assessment."  She is a professional who they respected with a number of other people but did not respect her assessment for me.  This second appeal was GRANTED.  Thank the Lord!  I was trying to hold onto the fact that God was in control and would clear this up.  My friends pointed out that they thought God was telling us no.  They didn't say much when the appeal was granted.  God is faithful to those who are faithful to Him.  So, that is the short version of our insurance struggles.  I hope it is the end of it too.

The way things are billed as a home birth is a little different.  We had to pay in full up front at 36 weeks to the midwife.  It was $3500.  I was to and did pay $100 with each visit until week 36 where we paid the remaining balance.  Six weeks after this baby is born, we will get the paperwork to file with our insurance and then have to wait for them to process it and write us a reimbursement check.  It hurts financially, now... but is good to know we will one day seem the majority of that money return.  It is well worth it to have control of our birth.  We have paid at least that out of pocket for each c/s so this way, if all goes well, we will be saving money, too.  Not that it is our main reason to have a hba2c but one can be thankful for the savings.  The $3500 also covers ALL prenatal visits excluding lab work such as blood tests, ultrasound etc.  Not bad at all.  To add to that, she has always come to me in my home.  No bundling up the 2 yr old, driving an hour, waiting in the waiting room, waiting in the exam room, quick check by doc and then have to spend $ on lunch (b/c by then it was always time to eat) and drive back.  It took all day.  She comes to me.  My child is at home, I can stay in my pj's if I want and she spends at least 1 hour with me really getting to know me.  How many experience that as a prenatal visit?

Well, this post has taken forever.  I'm not sure if it has interested anyone or if Jessica regrets asking me to post something.  I hope it gives some insight.  How can someone wrap up 9 months into a pretty bow?  I suppose I will shortly as I deliver and dress my sweet little girl.

New guest bloggers and contributors!

I am very excited to start changing things up with this blog. I believe the best way to do that is to have other women write their thoughts/hopes/dreams/journeys down for others to read and get inspired from. I want to encourage anyone with a heart to share their thoughts on VBAC to send me an email. I am opening my blog up to some other writers here in the next few weeks so everyone be respectful and enjoy! And remember that every woman is entitled to her thoughts and her beliefs and we should respect each one in the place that they are in. Thanks, Jessica Pace

Meet Guest Blogger Taia! On her journey towards a VBA2C

Hi.  Let me introduce myself.  My name is Taia and very close to having a vba2c (vaginal birth after two cesareans).  Actually my due date is hours away- tomorrow!  For this vba2c I will be doing home birth which is completely new to me.

I never thought we would ever consider a home birth and honestly, thought most who were planning one were crazy.  I am a Christian and feel that God has lead us down this path for a reason.  We would not be here if it weren't for the fact that He is in control.

My first birth as a c/s prematurely due to severe pre-eclampsia.  I was at 36 week and really had no real care if the birth was natural or by c/s.  (I was a c/s birth myself and was raised that it is no big deal.)  I quickly discovered after the birth that I had strong feelings about birth and I was not ok with the experience I had.  I won't go into it here as it is not the focus.  I am sure about anyone reading this has had some negative birth experience, each unique, but each cutting deep into the sole.  I did go a full year dealing with my feelings and emotions poorly before a wonderful couple ladies started up a vbac support group locally.  I went to the first one and have been a faithful member for the past nearly 6 years.  It was only through those meetings that I was able to begin healing.

My second birth was to be a hospital vbac.  I had wonderful support from my midwife and had hired the most respected doula in my area.  I had not experienced any type of labor before and was a little nervous about if I could handle it.  My doula has this theory that God only gives us what we can handle.  Therefore, if you can't handle pain well, the labor will start slowly and may take a couple days to really kick in.  If you can handle a lot, the labor my kick in full force.  We assumed it would take me a while... we were wrong.  The hospital was located an hour away which was the closest who would support a vbac.  The plan was to get a hotel room close to the hospital when labor began.  That way we could labor at my pace but not worry about the hour trip.  As soon as labor kicked in, I quickly cancelled those plans.  Things were progressing fast and we left for the hospital within 2-3 hours if the first contraction.  I was handling things fine.  I was calm and pleased to be experiencing things I never got to with the first birth.  I'm not intending to share the whole story here, so I will fast forward.  I ended up with a c/s because the doctor on call (who I had never seen before) took the first chance he could get to section me.  He refused an epidural which all his colleagues said after the fact was my right.  Instead he insisted on a c/s.  The official reason was "failure to progress."  My personal opinion as well as many others say, "failure of doctor support."  It was difficult to go through again.  There were parts with the second c/s that were better.  But one of the hardest parts was having to tell people we had a c/s and them not understanding it wasn't because it was unsafe but because the doctor was a jerk.

About 18 months later, we discussed having our third and final child.  My husband was wanting me to get pregnant asap so we can get out of the baby stage and move onto other childhood stages he enjoys more.  To date, my oldest is 2 months from being 7 years old and much more enjoyable for my husband than the younger one.  Anyway, I was not comfortable getting pregnant without knowing first that we had a provider who would support a vba2c.  My last provider who cheated me out of my vbac made it very clear that they will not support a vba2c.  Nice.  That midwife reluctantly gave me the name of an Amish community birthing center who may be "crazy enough to attempt a vba2c."  That was a little scary but I didn't have many choices.  It was an hour and half drive from my house but only a half hour drive from my parents' house.  So, I made an appointment to see the center and talk with them.  The ladies were so supportive.  The center was small and simple.  It reminded me a lot of a nursing home without a huge dining room.  They do home births as well but would not travel as far as I live.  Understandable.  Next all I had to do was get pregnant.  Little did I know... I already was!

As the realization that the pregnancy has already begun, we began talking more seriously about our options.  I was telling my husband how little there was in the center and that is basically the same as a home birth, just in a different less comfortable (to me) environment.  As I said this, I realized there was no difference between the birthing center and a home birth.  We both kind of had the Ah-Ha moment at the same time.  We had heard from several over the months that there is one home birth midwife in a town just 5 minutes from my house.  We decided to make an appointment with her.  Ironically... or God's timing... it depends on how you feel about that- but I noticed an acquaintance I knew on facebook had her baby THAT weekend.  As I looked at the photos, it was pretty clear this was a home birth.  I had no idea!  As I told my husband about this discovery, he said the name sounded familiar and thought he may have just met the husband at work just a couple weeks ago.  Turns out, he DID know the husband and was shocked, "HE did a home birth?"  It didn't seem so crazy after that.  Did I mention the baby was over 10 pounds?

That is the short version of the path God took us to a home birth after 2 c/s.  We love our midwife.  She is extremely knowledgeable, supportive, and kind.  She is looking out for me and will not risk my or the baby's health just to have a home birth.  We also rehired out doula from the last birth.  Both doula and midwife are on call, waiting to hear things are progressing with us.  We are feeling the same.

I will write more later about my feelings as I approach my due date and things I have done to get me this far without much fear.

I would love prayers for a safe and healing birth if you are a faithful follower of Jesus.  Thanks!

Trying to keep this going

I am so incredibly passionate about VBAC that I seriously want to keep this blog going. I havent blogged on here for a little while now and here are some reasons why:

• I just recently finished my DONA birth doula training in Asheville, NC and have been consumed with everything involved with that-trying to get a business page, business cards, meeting and emailing potential clients, and putting together a VAST, VAST resource list that I seriously work on every night for hours!
• I just moved into a new place with my husband in a new city 
• I am home with two crazy boys and they do not wanna let me blog
• I want to post some great things but feel a little like no one reads this blog, so why put in the time....

No matter what, I am still very VBAC supportive and will continue to be. Let me brainstorm some rock your world posts, and get back into the game. I know so many women can be changed by just a little positivity in their pregnancy and it can make or break their path towards their vaginal birth. I want to be that little angel on your ear encouraging you!

VBAC story re-post

http://chicomidwife.blogspot.com/2011/10/ob-and-i-work-together-tracy-has-vbac.html#more

This story was so beautiful I had to respost it on my blog when I read it. Oh, it just makes you feel so happy reading about this midwife and OB collaborating to give this woman her VBAC despite all the odds being against her. Coolness.

VBAC video: Homebirth, 2 VBAC

Natural waterbirth at home, my second VBAC 

 

Such a beautifully done video. Gorgeous birth and such lovely family presence. Caught myself smiling ear to ear while watching this. Just love love love all about this super inspirational VBAC birth! Watch and feel connected, at peace, and inspired to have your very own VBAC. 

Some Inspirational VBAC bloggers

It is always a great idea to connect with some other VBAC bloggers, those who have already birthed their babies, and have blogged about it, and also the women who are in their VBAC journey with you! Here are some great ladies I love to read about their stories, and their journey to VBAC.

Kristin from Birthing Beautiful Ideas:

http://birthingbeautifulideas.com/?page_id=716

I think I find her story especially wonderful because I had my two sons in Ohio too, and looked up to her beautiful VBAC story for inspiration. I love the picture of her holding up the 10 fingers when she is 10 cms dialtated. For some reason that stuck with me, because for a VBAC mama to get to that point is a huge hurdle that takes a lot of strength and courage. Love her story, and a new one coming up in the not too distant future.

Gina, The Feminist Breeder, of course:

http://thefeministbreeder.com/my-water-hbac-photography-slideshow/

Ahhh, what can I say about The Feminist Breeder's amazing VBAC that people do not already know. She has a very popular blog, and even live blogged her homebirth VBAC! It was amazing to say the least, I was tearing up, and then when she posted this video made for her some few days later, that definitely got the tears flowing. Just perfect.

  

Mrs. BWF's had a VBA2c and 2 UC's:

  http://birthwithoutfearblog.com/

This is one of the best blogs around for any woman who has experienced a traumatic birth. She posts some beautiful stories, including her own, which help you realize the power in your own body and your ability to birth without fear being one of the most important things to help you on your VBAC journey. 

Paige from The Crunchy Mamacita: 

http://thecrunchymamacita.blogspot.com/2011/08/my-vba2c-video.html

Her blog follows her modern-day hippie ways, and her recent VBAC video is just so breath-taking. You can see the joy on her face even in labor.

Meagan's lovely blog 

http://nurturingnaturedoulaservices.blogspot.com/

I know Meagan personally, and actually met her when I was pregnant with my second, and hoping for a VBAC she told her story to a group of women in a birth meeting and I was just floored. So beautiful, I love her amazing birth photos, and the fervency she has for all things birth and VBAC, it is contagious!  I was instantly drawn to her while on my VBAC journey and actually she was the first person I messaged when I thought labor was starting and I wanted a solid rock to stand on.

Theresa and her TWIN VBAC blog and journey:

http://highheelhippiemommy.blogspot.com/2011/08/my-non-granola-butterflies-twin-vbac.html

Her journey through a twin pregnancy and her hope for a VBAC was so courageous and I love that she did it! So happy she had a twin hospital VBAC, this story is very inspirational, and even though she wishes it might have gone a little differently her story is still very moving and will help other women realize that their VBAC  dreams are not shattered just because you are caring multiples. 

Jessica's VBAC journey currently being chronicled: 

http://vbacorbust.blogspot.com/

Jessica just announced the beginning of her second pregnancy journey towards a VBAC, although she has been blogging about VBAC for quite some time. I really love all her posts, and can not wait to blog stalk her through her VBAC journey! 

I am sure I have missed some awesome ones, maybe I will do a second post later on with some other great blogs to check out!

A tale of two VBACs- Heather's stories

Heather shares her amazing, and beautiful birth stories of her VBAC births. It is wonderful to see the difference between her first and second VBAC, and the wonderful courage and strength this mama shows. Her first birth is a whirlwind birth, the kind you see in the movies, so fast paced! Her second birth is not quite as fast, but it is inspiring to hear how this mama stood up for what she wanted in her birth and her body just took over for itself. Read her wonderful stories, and find encouragement!

VBAC #1—Alexander Jonathon, September 10, 2005, 8:51 am 5 lbs 15 oz 20” long;

home from the hospital

      After 24 hours before of cramping and just feeling miserable, my contractions started at 2 am about 9 minutes apart. By 5 am they were getting closer together but still not the 5 minutes apart the nurse said to use as my guide to come in. I called my parents who are 2 hours a way to have them come to take care of Colin knowing we could call Jon's parents as a backup if they weren't there when we needed to leave. About 6:45 I woke Jon up and told him to call his parents that I wanted to leave for the hospital--they were finally about 5 minutes apart and I was getting uncomfortable and really starting to think I was going to go back on my "no drugs" thought and take an epidural. So we called Jon's parents and left as soon as they arrived. We got to the hospital about 10 after 8, did the registration and walked into L&D triage—stopping along the way to deal with some bad contractions. Got settled in. Had one NASTY contraction that was longer and much stronger than the rest and I told the nurse I DEFINITELY now wanted drugs. She started entering data into the computer then did a check. I was dilated to 8 already! :eek: In the process she broke my water and I had the immediate urge to push. Needless to say I've never seen drs and nurses move so fast! They got me down the hall into a "real" room and didn't even have time to introduce anyone before I was pushing. I pushed for less than ten minutes and tore somewhat badly because it all happened so fast. But Jon got his wish to not spend all day in the hospital--I had Alex in less than an hour. I hear I really made some other women mad who were in the labor wing and heard me screaming (yes I screamed although I'm happy to say I only swore twice!) ;) and their nurses told them I'd literally WALKED into the hospital less than an hour earlier. If there is a 3rd we'll be getting to the hospital a LOT sooner. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ VBAC #2- And I must have felt more like writing after my 2nd. The birth story is WAY longer. LOL. Sabrina Brianna, September 15, 2007, 11:43pm 7 lb 10 oz 20 ¼” long

nursing in the hospital shortly after she was born

. Sept 13th--I got woken up a few times that night with lower back pain--the beginnings of labor. It was erratic so I blew it off. I had a drs appt Friday morning the 14th so I just figured we'd see if it was accomplishing anything. Sept 14th--I woke up Friday morning and just felt like garbage. I had a drs appt at 8:20. She checked me and said I was dilated to 3-3.5 and about 50% effaced. She said she figured with the contractions I was still having (even though they were erratic) she felt I would probably deliver during the weekend unless the contractions stopped. I went home and worked from home the rest of the afternoon because I just couldn't make myself dress nice and go to work. My back hurt most of the day and I just felt crappy. Around 6 pm when Jon was at work I realized I was having contractions about 15 minutes apart. I hadn't had any soft stools yet so I was pretty sure this wasn't "the" labor. I called my friend Mindy who had had 3 kids and asked if she had soft stools with every birth and she said yes so I figured I was still not in labor labor. She insisted on coming over though. I hadn't seen her yet since she moved to town so her and her husband and their three kids came over to keep me company until Jon got home from work. I called my parents and left a message that I was having contractions 15 minutes apart and I might or might not have the baby this weekend. Their call if/when they wanted to come up. They called back and said they'd come up yet that night since it was only 7:30 pm. They showed up around 9:30pm. I went to bed and the contractions stopped during the night. Sept 15th--I still felt kind of bad. Around 11 as I was getting ready to go run some errands the contractions started back up again. I went to Cub and got groceries and to Super Target to pick up a few things. Went home and kind of just tried to relax. The contractions were mostly crampy back pain which was different from Alex. I tried to take a nap at one point but I couldn't relax enough. The contractions sat around 10 minutes apart most of the day. Around 7pm they had moved to around 6-7 minutes apart so I figured we should head to the hospital with how quickly things had went with Alex. I finished packing up the hospital bag and told the boys goodnight and that daddy would be there in the morning but I wouldn't but that grandma and grandpa would bring them to the hospital to see me and to meet their new little sister. We got to the hospital and got registered and they sent me back to triage. I put on the lovely gown and got hooked up to the monitors. They entered my info in and did a check. I was only dilated to about a 5 which was a bit depressing. I really thought I'd be 6 or 7. They admitted me and found me a room. The nurse put in the IV and I started walking the halls with my portable IV thing. The nurse found me after about 10 minutes and told me the dr wanted me back in bed for continuous monitoring since I was a VBAC patient. I was surprised--I hadn't checked if policies had changed but I knew for a fact with Alex I was told I did not have to be on continuous monitoring. I told the nurse I refused. I told her I would NOT be confined to a bed when I was trying to make my labor progress. She said she agreed with me and that at her old hospital they didn't put VBAC's on continuous monitoring. I told her I would consent to monitoring at time intervals but not continuous. She went and found the dr and argued my case and came back and told me I had to be monitored for 5 minutes every 15 minutes. I agreed to that. I know they were short staffed that night and I just made my nurse's night even harder but I was NOT going to be told I was stuck in bed. If I CHOSE to stay in bed fine but I would not be told I would without a fight. She got me back in bed for monitoring and noticed she had bungled my IV and my arm was swelling up (I noticed it hurt but hadn't noticed it was swelling). So I had to endure her redoing the IV but that time she got it right. I walked the halls or just walked around the room for a few hours until the contractions were getting worse. The dr came in and checked me and I was 7-7.5. At that point I was getting tired of walking and the contractions were getting harder to talk through. The nurse suggested a birthing ball and went and found one. I spent the next hour or so (I really wasn't watching the clock) sitting on the birthing ball and breathing through contractions. Jon sat and played his PSP and talked to me. That is about what I wanted out of him--moral support more than backrubs or counting contractions from me so that was fine. He did come over during a few really bad contractions and rubbed my back and held my hand. The nurse suggested having the dr break my water to speed things up but I wasn't sure I wanted to go there. I knew I didn't really have to worry about the 24 hour clock thing but she said it would make the contractions more intense and they were already pretty bad (I was doing this unmedicated) and I wasn't sure I was ready for that. I decided to hold out another hour and see how my labor progressed without breaking my water. a little bit later I got up to use the bathroom and my contractions got a lot worse. When I got back I decided the birthing ball wasn't what I wanted anymore and figured I'd better get into bed before I couldn't. The contractions started coming pretty fast and the nurse did another check and said I was pretty much complete other than a small anterior lip. The dr came in and they got the bed ready to deliver and asked me to slide down the bed. I remember snapping something at them about "why do you people NEVER want me to move until I can't?". When I delivered Alex I was having contraction upon contraction and they asked me to scoot from the triage bed to the delivery bed and I couldn't because my legs were shaking. Jon helped me slide down the bed. The contractions were very intense at this point and I remember saying I couldn't do it and Jon telling me it was almost over. I had a couple really bad contractions and the dr told me the head was almost there. I hadn't even pushed up to this point--my body was just forcing the baby out. I pushed a bit with the next contraction and the head was out. When I delivered Alex I had nurses coaching me to push and counting to ten. This time no one coached me on anything. The nurse and the dr just told me what was going on ("the head is almost out". "okay just the shoulders left" etc). I actually preferred that. I was able to mentally calm down at that point even though it hurt and I knew a few more pushes and it would be over. It only took one push to get the shoulders out and next thing I knew there was a bloody screaming purple baby on my chest flailing her arms around. The dr clamped the cord and Jon cut it while she was laying on my chest screaming. They took her after a few minutes to clean her up and I delivered the placenta. Jon asked the dr if I had torn at all (I'd needed stitches with Alex) and she said I had one tiny tear that wouldn't need stitches. They weighted Sabrina and said she was 7 pounds 10 oz. I thought I heard them wrong. I did NOT expect that she was that large. I was thinking around 6 1/2 pounds actually. The size would account for how much worse the contractions were at the end than they were with Alex I would guess. Jon had guessed I'd have the baby 9/16. He missed it by 17 minutes with her being born at 11:43 pm. :) After they got her cleaned up they gave her back to me and I just looked at her for a bit then tried to nurse her. She latched right on and nursed on both sides before Jon decided to go home (he can't sleep in those lousy hospital pull out beds because of his back) and the nurse gave her a proper bath and they moved me to my recovery room. Before Jon left we decided on Sabrina for her first name but decided we'd figure out her middle name the next day. It was around 2:30 am when I finally got to go to sleep but of course they had nurses in all night long to check on me and Sabrina. I still slept better than I figured--probably the relief of having it done and knowing unless there is an oops I never had to endure pregnancy or labor and birth again. It was a miraculous experience I'm glad I was able to experience 3 times in my life and my last pregnancy and labor were actually as uneventful as they could have been which was a nice close to this phase of my life for me.

Inspiration

in·spi·ra·tion

[in-spuh-rey-shuhn]

–noun

1. an inspiring or animating action or influence: I cannot write poetry without inspiration.

2. something inspired, as an idea.

3. a result of inspired activity.

4. a thing or person that inspires.

5.Theology .

a. a divine influence directly and immediately exerted upon the mind or soul.

b. the divine quality of the writings or words of a person so influenced.

What inspires you? What gives you hope and peace in your decision to VBAC? For me inspiration came from birth stories I would read, and face to face interaction with other women who have been there before. I want to help inspire you on your journey. I know so many sites can offer you facts, which I believe is so completely important. Get your facts on VBAC and know the risks/benefits and how you want to approach your birth. But my goal for this blog is to give you support and inspiration, focusing on the intangible evidence, things that could help be a driving force in bringing you to your hopeful birth!
    Birth, especially VBACs, can be a mental battle more than anything. So focus on getting your head and heart in the right place, and your body will follow.

Empowering Hospital VBA2C- Pamela

Thank you for sharing your amazing story Pamela! It really proves that knowledge is power and belief in your own body can change everything. Such a strong woman, your story is inspiring. (VBA2C= vaginal birth after 2 cesareans)

Well, we had our baby 4/23/09 at 1:30pm after 2 days of pre-labor.

I had been having contractions pretty regular for 2 full days. They were anywhere from 5-20 mins apart and never stopped. I was losing my mucus plug and had some bloody show. To be honest I was afraid that the prodromal labor would last a week or longer. It was exhausting so I went to the hospital to be checked by my midwife. It was my first vaginal check. I was 39 weeks 5 days. She found my cervix to be 1cm dilated and 90% effaced. All that hard work was paying off. My Midwife said that effacement was huge progress. I went home and waited for labor to start. It did just that!

Ctx started picking up at 2:30 am on a Thursday morning. They were about 6-7 minutes apart. With each hr the contractions grew about a minute closer. By 5:30 I called my doula to tell her the status. I was still convinced that this wasn't actual labor and that they would slow down eventually. I was wrong!

My plan was to labor at home for as long as I could so I hired a doula for support but also a home birth midwife so that I could have extra support and the comfort of knowing that the baby was doing good. She periodically monitored the baby's heart rate all through labor. He tolerated labor like a champ - never a deceleration which made me very confident that everything was going great. The home birth midwife also did about 3 vaginal exams during my entire labor to make sure that we didn't arrive at the hospital too early.

The first time the home birth midwife checked my cervix I was 3 centimeters and fully effaced which was at 7:30am. (I really think the EPO worked that I took from 36 weeks on and all that walking).

In the earlier part of labor I used the shower to relieve some of the pain. I had a lot of back labor because the baby was in a posterior position. I have to say it hurt a lot and all throughout labor the 2 support coaches and my husband put pressure on my lower back through each contraction, which helped more than I can tell you!

By 10 am the home birth midwife checked me again because I was in extreme pain and really wanting to give up at that point. I know that I said a couple of times that I really wanted to go to the hospital for an epidural (which was not my plan, I wanted to go natural) and that I couldn't take the pain any more. I was at 6-7 centimeters at that point. My support group knew that I really did not want the epidural and that they knew things were really picking up. I was really afraid that if I did have an epidural that it would slow the progression of labor or that the baby wouldn't react well and I would end up in another c-section. So, they talked me through this critical point in labor.

After about a 1/2 hr of pretty much losing it and wanting to give up I found my grove again. I ended up back in the shower on a stool. The water really helped. Every contraction I jumped up and leaned on my doula while she rubbed my lower back. I made it another 1 1/2 hrs. At that point I was 8 centimeters dilated and in a lot of pain.

The car ride was horrible. I was in so much pain and it was impossible to find a comfortable position. Thank God it was only 15 minutes away. I think I had at least 7 or 8 contractions on the way.

I had another 3 from getting out of the car to labor and delivery. By the time I got to the room I was already pushing. I couldn't help it, my body was doing it on it’s own. At first I didn't even know if I was really pushing or not. I really think because I didn't have any medication that I felt that very strong urge to push and my big VBA2C baby was out in 20 minutes! I thought that was pretty decent for a 1st time vaginal birth! I had a 2nd degree tear inside but no tear on my perenial. It really didn’t even hurt as much as I thought it would.

Happy to say we had a healthy baby boy. He was 8lbs 14 oz and 20 1/2 inches long. I can't say enough how much my doulas and husband really helped. I don't think I could have done it without them. They had confidence in my body’s ability even when I didn't.

Vaginal birth was such a completely different experience. I was able to eat, take a shower and walk around after the birth. It was amazing! I felt empowered and somehow healed from my previous birth experiences. I felt victorious that I was able to birth my baby even though he was almost 9lbs! I have since had another VBA2C in the comfort of my own home. My birth experiences have changed me forever. It has changed my career path as well. I now help women as a doula all over my state make empowered decisions through their own research and VBAC mom’s have a very special place in my heart..

Power in words

         It is amazing how much power your words and thoughts can have over your life. If you are having a bad day and you keep saying how horrible the day is, you are only affirming that notion in your head and most likely pulling yourself into a downward spiral. Changing your perspective on life starts with you, and the things you allow yourself to believe. Birth is no different. To truly have the positive birth experience you crave, it is best to start with a positive mindset. It seems simple enough, but often times women are not prepared mentally for birth and it can get in the way of labor, even causing it to come to a screeching halt at times.  Work on preparing your mind, and during labor find a mantra, or a positive affirmation to keep repeating to yourself. Sometimes I find that even if you do not believe it at first...repeating it mulitple times will make you eventually believe it.
         For example, when I was in labor with my second son, my vbac, I got to a really tough spot right after transition. It was time to start pushing and I just let my mind get the best of me. I was moving with each contraction and instead of saying my usual, "OPEN, OOOOOPEN" chant, I started doubting myself and found that I was saying, "I can't, I can't, I really dont think I can". Just saying those words brought me down a level. They freaked me out and placed doubts in my head. I tensed up and fought the pain, and actually made the pain intensify by freaking out and loosing my cool.
          The power of your words is outstanding. Start now by making a list of the things you believe your body can do, what it will do, and what an amazing job you are going to do! Here are a few great things I believe you should tell yourself everyday, and especially once labor gets going:




I CAN

• grow and nurture a baby with my body
• contract and relax as my body works its way towards delivery
• OPEN
• find inner strength and peace 
• give birth vaginally

I AM

• STRONG
• CAPABLE
• ABLE
• READY
• AT PEACE
• PREPARED AND ENCOURAGED
• MADE TO DO THIS!

I WILL

• stay positive
• have my vbac
• focus my thoughts 
• prepare my body,soul,and mind to birth a baby
• open my cervix
• soften, and my baby will descend into the birth canal
• push my baby out
• trust myself!

Beautiful Birth Art Mandalas made by Amy Swagman.

Increase your chances of having a hospital VBAC.

1.  Labor at home, for as long as humanly possible. I am talking till your about to feel the urge to push!
2. Find a VBAC friendly Midwife or OB. Ask for references and statistics from your provider. Ask alot of "what-if" scenario questions. Be prepared to switch providers if you feel they are not on the same page as you.
3. Become super knowledgeable! Learn all you can about every hospital procedure during birth and its positives and negatives.  Read as much as you can to inform yourself about everything involved with a natural birth.
4. In addition to reading books about the process of birth, I believe it is very important to read tons of positive birth stories. I especially found the stories in Ina May Gaskin's book: Guide to Childbirth very inspiring and uplifting. 
5. Hire a DOULA! According to  Mothering the Mother: How a Doula Can HelpYou Have a Shorter Easier and Healthier Birth, Klaus, Kennell, and Klaus (1993) a doula can reduce your chance of having a cesarean by 50%! Not to mention the knowledge to be able to provide emotional and physical support in a time when you need more than anything else. Doulas can be a life-saver, a sanity saver, and a blessing to your vbac. I know this from experience. My doula helped me find my center during the time when I thought I would loose it all. 
6. Take care of yourself. Eating healthy and exercising are both essential to any pregnancy. You are what you eat, right? Prenatal yoga can teach you how to center yourself, stretch your muscles, and loosen your anxiety. 
7. Get connected with other VBAC-ers. They have been where you are, and can offer you support and encouragement. A great resource for this is through ICAN and their meetings. 

photo from mamaeve.com

Homebirth VBAC warrior woman- Tiffany

I would love to introduce our first VBAC goddess/warrior/outright awesome birthing mama Tiffany! Read her amazing transformation from her first birth having an elective c-section to choosing to vbac at home with her second. I just love her story!

In October of 2005 my oldest daughter Sophie was born. The birth was exactly the way I wanted- a C-section. I was afraid of birth. My pregnancy was miserable- sick for almost 8 straight months all day long- I had to quit my job because I spent the majority of my shifts in the bathroom sick rather than the classroom. I was afraid of allowing my tailbone to break again during a vaginal birth- the way it had during the pregnancy after a horrible fall. I was given prescriptions to help ease my sickness, but none of them worked- and I heard several times “this is just part of the pregnancy all women get sick” My OBGYN loudly supported my fear that the bone would break, that the way it healed might not even allow the baby to be born vaginally- and the much easier and less painful would be to have a scheduled C-section. I fear pain- I feared childbirth, and I didn’t hesitate to schedule my baby’s delivery by caesarean section.

I went in on a Friday, 2 weeks before my due date, with complaints of my back and my doctor said I was at the beginning stages of labor and we should do the C-section now rather than coming back in later in the night when labor really took hold. I hadn’t experienced any contractions- but the Doctor knew what labor was so I trusted her. I called my husband and told him to leave work- that it was time. Quickly my family and friends filled my room as we waited for 3 30p.m. When it was finally time I was wheeled into the operating room and my husband waited outside until the epidural was in. On the 8th try my OB finally left the room to get another anesthesiologist to put in my epidural. I was told that there are two shots with an epidural. The first one is like a bee sting to numb the area where the medicine will go in. The second one I won’t feel at all. I find that to be a lie. I felt all 8 bee stings, and felt 8 attempts at getting the medication in. The anesthesiologist said my back was "unusual- probably because of my tailbone"- but when her college came in she got it on the first try (but to my body it was attempt 9). I instantly lost feeling from my chest down and that scared me. I heard a nurse say that my water broke, but I felt nothing and I couldn’t you if it broke naturally or if someone was examining me and they broke it. My husband finally came in and the c section lasted only 15 minutes. My daughter was born; I heard her cry and we cried. The doctors then told me it was a good thing I had done the C-section because she was stuck my pelvic bone with a very short cord and there would have been no way she would have delivered vaginally. To this day I believe that the cord was shorter than normal, but I don’t know if I believe in my heart that she wouldn’t have been born vaginally. It took almost 20 minutes for them to allow my husband to pick her up, to bring her to me. Her face was badly bruised and the doctors said it was because being stuck inside me, that many babies come out bruised but not to worry- the bruises would disappear in a few days. The brusies took almost 2 weeks to heal.

My recovery wasn’t bad-wasnt fun but wasnt bad either. Within two weeks I was back at church, going shopping, and really thankful that I wasn’t trying to recover from a broken tailbone- but on the inside something was really bothering me about the entire event. I knew I wanted more children- but to be that sick again for 9 long months and while taking care of a child. My doctors had said that if I wanted to try a VBAC with my next pregnancy it would fine- if I was willing to take responsibilities for the risks of uterine tears and the short cord will more than likely follow me with my next pregnancy so I had to understand I would more than likely end up with a C-section after hours of failing to push with results. The seeds of doubt they planted from the very start is so obvious to me now.

In 2008 we were due with our second child. My husband was so excited- I was scared. Sick again with no relief and at my very first appt we were told we might be allowed to do a VBAC but a C-section was much more likely because the risks of a VBAC were too great. I left the office knowing that I had to do something different this time- that I truly wanted something different. Not all women were this miserable; somewhere someone had to have a better way.

Several weeks later I went to a banquet and a friend of the family was giving me her congratulations on my pregnancy when I commented about how miserable I was. She said then that she had several babies and it wasn’t something to be miserable over- she started talking about her midwife and how beautiful her births were. Something inside me stirred. She introduced me to her midwife who gave me several tips about my “morning sickness”- she knew right away how dehydrated I was, that the medicine was upsetting my stomach more than helping, and offered some tricks of the trade. I kept thinking- how can something as simple as peppermint oil help me when prescriptions weren’t doing anything. But the peppermint oil worked and it worked so well that I began to look into midwives, homebirth, vbacs, and my options.

I didn’t know anyone who had a homebirth beside the friend who introduced me to her midwife. I sent a few emails asking her questions, I started reading anything I could get my hands on, and before I knew it I was in her living room asking her to take me on as a patient for a vbac home birth. The rest of my pregnancy was completely different then my first. The midwife helped me find a prenatal vitamin that didn’t upset my stomach, she helped me understand what my diet was lacking and point out better ways to cook healthier food. She asked questions that made us take responsibility for our birth and baby rather than just giving it over to someone else. We made up our own minds about vaccinations based on facts rather than assuming everyone had to be vaccinated, we knew we didn’t need a vit k shot after the baby was born, we knew we wanted to birth the baby in water and so much more. She gave us the tools and the confidence to trust birth and my body.

By the time my due date rolled around I felt like a brand new woman- confident, powerful and ready to deliver my baby. I had told the midwife that I needed laughter, that I wanted to eat and drink during labor, have my friends there to witness our baby’s birth. She agreed to everything and followed through with it during labor. The day after my due date was Mother’s Day and we were on our way to church for a pancake breakfast. My hormones were raging and I was crying because I thought the baby would have been here by now. Just another thing that this pregnancy taught me- babies come when babies are ready not when everyone else is. After church my parents had us over for lunch and I noticed some bloody show. I called the midwife and she said that it may be time- to relax and if contractions picked up to give her another call.

We went home and in my heart I knew it was time. We watched several episodes of my favorite tv show and I napped on the couch. When I awoke it was to an intense contraction. I smiled and told my husband it was time to start making some calls and get the birthing pool blown up. My mom and friends were on their way and by the time the midwife arrived I was ready to be in the water. The water was calling me. After I got in the birthing pool I was able to breathe through each contraction, there was laughter in-between, Disney lullabies playing in the background and my friends all there cheering me on. For almost everyone this was the first birth they witnessed, even the moms there hadn’t been a part of a birth unless it was their own.
After an hour or so in the water the midwife checked me and I was at 9 and almost ready to start pushing. I was amazed- I thought it would take endless hours and the contractions up to that point were totally doable- nothing so painful the way I had seen on TV or the way the doctors had explained. I don’t do pain- and that was not pain. I truly believe that fear made the contractions painful and I didn’t have any fears during my labor to that point.

But then I had a deep contraction and I threw up. I have to say I hate throwing up and it scared me- why all of a sudden was I puking? I smelled it; I wanted out and away from it- and that one moment made me loose track and become fearful. The midwife did her best to get me calmed back down. I knew I should expect the unexpected but throwing up was not part of my plan- and I did not want to do that again. She made me get up out of the pool, and I went into my bathroom standing next to my vanity- contractions standing up were intense. I didn’t like it at all. I wasn’t ready to get back in the water and they weren’t finished cleaning it so I laid down in my bed and began to cry.

The midwife asked everyone to leave the room- to give me a moment with my husband to try and get things back in control. She checked me and I went from 9 centimeters to 5. It’s amazing how the body become fearful and labor stalls. I began to let the fear overwhelm me- my friends weren’t there, I puked, it was so painful- something was wrong. Really wrong- maybe I couldn’t do it and maybe I should just stop and go to the hospital. The midwife walked out in the hallway to give me and Ryan a few minutes together and I begged him to tell me what was wrong. And he looked into my eyes and said, "Just stop Tif- you know what to do, you knew transition was going to be crazy, and you know how you get when you throw up. Now is the time to stop freaking out and have this baby.”

The midwife came in a few moments later with a glove of ice. Her assistant was massaging my lower back and explaining what the midwife was going to do with the ice. Because I closed back up and the feeling to push was so overwhelming The midiwfe used her experience to help soften my cervix. She used the glove with ice to help “melt” away the cervix and after only a few moments I was ready to push. I didn’t get back in the water- which I regret now. But at the time I was lost in my words and just ready to meet my baby. I started on my hands and knees, then leaned into my husband for a few pushes, rolled over on my back and began to really push.

There wasn’t anyone who was yelling at me to push- no one was telling me what to do – only encouraging me that I was doing it. To keep listening to my body, to each contraction. The room was full again with my friends, my mom was on my side confidently telling me that everything was all right, and my husband was on the other side silently holding my hand breathing through each contraction and kissing my forehead each time. The midwife helped me to avoid tearing by guiding me to slow controlled pushes, deep massages, and helping me open my eyes and see that the baby’s head was out and ready for me to give one last push. Pulling my baby onto my stomach the room filled with laughter, tears, and joy. I have never felt so powerful, loved, or happy in my life. I was truly exhausted but energetic. My husband exclaimed it was a girl and my heart leapt with joy. My little Lola was here. Born in the early morning May 12 at 1:37 am weighing 7lbs 6 oz and 20 and ¾ inches long.

Lola’s cord was shorter than normal- and there was a slight tugging sensation when I had Lola at my chest. We planned on delaying cord cutting until it stopped pulsating- giving Lola her entire blood supply, avoiding risks of jaundice, and helping me delivery the placenta easier. After almost 10 minutes I asked for the cord to be cut because I wanted to lift up my baby and the length of the cord wouldn’t allow me to. We clamped and Ryan cut the cord, and shortly after, I delivered her “Tree of Life”. The midwife showed us the placenta and explained its value.

Everyone cleared the room after a few moments, giving Ryan and I private time with our new daughter. For the first hour our daughter was only in our hands, only skin to skin with her mother, bonding and loving each moment. Later the midwife measured Lola and did a quick examine to make sure I was fine. We brought in our oldest daughter Sophie to meet her little sister and it was the most wonderful moment- to be in our home, with our daughters, with my body intact, with a new strength. Sophie fell back to sleep and the midwife came in to say her goodbyes. Two hours after my baby was born- we were all asleep in bed together.

Lola’s birth was the hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever done. It was walking away from the “norm”- to leave the hospital and their machines, to trust my body, to trust my midwife. To get back on track after I was sick during labor. To let go of my fear and give my control back to my body and let it happen. My birth team was such a big help- to have women there with their comfort and support was better then any kind of drugs. I know that they will share my daughter’s birth with others and let the word spread that yes you can birth your baby without drugs, without machines, even after a C-section- and that everything will and can come out wonderfully. My midwife and her assistant - were angles. They did not give up on me, they didn’t doubt my body, and gave me my confidence, they kept me and my baby safe during our journey. They make so little money and do so much compared to my doctors.


I have had both ways- medicated “pain free” C-section and natural homebirth. And if we are ever blessed to birth another baby- we will be at home. We will be in the care of midwife and I will know that without a doubt that I’m in the best place for my birth and my baby.

Why VBAC?

When I mentioned how badly I wanted a vaginal birth after my cesarean with my first the main response I would get from people was "WHY?". Let me tell you my reasons why a vbac was ,and is, so important to me.

1. After being so drugged up, and numbed from all the medications... I needed to FEEL. I needed to know I was alive.To feel the contractions rock my body, to feel that pushing sensation, to get this real and raw experience that NOTHING in the world can come close to, and to get through it all in the end and know that I DID THAT. Whew.
2. I knew that having a completely intervention-free birth was the best thing for my baby. Not just my baby, but all babies, and I am sad for the effects of all the drugs on my first son. A natural birth can lead to a better bonding experience between you and your newborn. The natural flow of hormones that rush your body after birth help you to instantly connect with your child on a deep and intimate level. You look into each others eyes and feel a rush of emotions! This initial bond can be inhibited by a intervention happy birth and a cesarean birth.
3. I wanted to prove to others and myself that I could do it. That I am not broken, and I am able to birth a baby. 
4. Because the facts show that it is SAFER! With a natural vaginal birth after a cesarean,  my chances of uterine rupture are very low- which is the common fear associated with having a vbac. The risks of a repeat cesarean are significant. "Success of trial of labor is consistently high, ranging from 60 to 80 percent, whereas the risks of uterine rupture is low, at less than 1 percent." -NIH Consensus Development Conference Statement on Vaginal Birth After Cesarean:New Insights, March, 2010. The risks associated with a repeat cesarean include: "clinically significant adhesions, perioperative complications at the time of subsequent repeat cesarean delivery, bowel and utereral injuries, and perioperative complications at time of non-pregnancy related hysterectomy."  

My VBAC moment!

Why is having a VBAC important to you?